I thought I hate cooking. But I noticed, when I start cooking I start humming, I play some nice songs, I feel like I am about to start something I like, but at the end of the cooking I feel so exhausted that I end up thinking I hate cooking 🙂 The interesting thing is that, when people eat what I cook, and can’t stop eating since they like it so much, I am so happy, my heart is content, its like – it was worth doing all these cooking stuff 🙂

I cooked shrimp today for the second time in my life (along with chicken curry, fish fry and lentils), as usual, I was very exhausted and tired at the end. But when hubby and sister were eating those and their face expressed that they had a small tour of heaven, once again, that moment made worth those 3 or 4 hours of process! I now have to admit, I do love cooking, I wish I had more time, so I could experience different foods, try different ingredients, different recipes for same dish, and not be stressed out at the end. I think I will love doing that, only if I had some. Sigh! Time is something I don’t have these days. The work is getting stressful everyday, every time I finish a project and think its going to be relaxing this time, its even a bigger stressful project! I know, I know, that’s how corporate world works, that’s how things work, when you want to grow in this competitive world, but sometimes I just wonder how much its worth spending all these stressful hours and end up not getting time to do things you would rather love doing!!

Anyway, it was a good day today with some spicy tasty cooking and loving people to appreciate it 🙂


The Beauty Of Symfony!

These days most of my works are in the symfony framework. A completely new thing for me which I am both working on and learning too. It amazes me how symfony’s form features are so wonderfully balanced. The capability of form validation and security implication are really impressive.

Before I talk about these details, I should write few words about what symfony is: (From its website)

“Symfony is a complete framework designed to optimize the development of web applications by way of several key features. For starters, it separates a web application’s business rules, server logic, and presentation views. It contains numerous tools and classes aimed at shortening the development time of a complex web application. Additionally, it automates common tasks so that the developer can focus entirely on the specifics of an application. The end result of these advantages means there is no need to reinvent the wheel every time a new web application is built!”

The old way of bulding web application is cumbersome, unmanagable. With framekwors complex web application can be handled very easyly without much of a headache on programmers side. Using symfony, when we define a form, we implement validation for each field, we can make some of the fields validation mendatory (such as Name, Age etc.) and we can do string or number validaition very easily. Symfony is build on the basic concepts of OOP, ORM, RAD, DRY, KISS, TDD, YAML, and PEAR. Therefore handling any DB activity is very easy and trouble free. The ambiguity of using different naming conventions for getters & setters are also easily handled.

Recently, I worked on an Auto complete search in our application. It was a search box, and as user goes with entering  letters all available options similar gets popped up. It was so much easier to do in symfony. Using Ajax in symofony also makes many complex things handled easily.

Its not that I have sit here to write a lecture on symfony, but most of my work are involved in these are now a days and I can not help expressing how much I am enjoying working with this 🙂

New Yorker!!

After switching my decision thousand times, finally I decided to move to New York. Even though last one year I rarely admit I live in NJ 😛 If anybody happened to ask me, ‘where do you live’, my straight answer was ‘New York’.

Except for work and sleep I try to spend as much as possible time in NY. And I just hate staying in NJ. My lease at current place expire soon, and this time I decided ‘no matter what’ – I will be a New Yorker 😀

Offcourse this comes with cost of NY Resident Tax, Expensive Apartments rent, 1 hour commute to work each way, Not very clean and organized neightbourhood/apartment – I am still determine to accept these and fulfill my wish of becoming a New Yorker! And specially thinking of living in Queens, around all Bangladeshi returants so that I can eat any deshi food anytime I want to 🙂

Can’t wait to moveeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

In a month or so, when someone asks me, ‘Where do you live’ I want to tell the truth this time “I live in NY” 🙂

I am Impressed!


Recently I got a chance to meet a wonderful person who amazed me with his work and lifestyle. He is doing his PhD at one of the finest universities in USA. And his life style is quite amazing. He does tons of jobs. He barely get chance to sleep. He is working with his Prof publishing one book, he is working on his extensive thesis resesrch, he is working as a Dorm Resident advisor and he get calls as late as 3 AM in the morning from dorm residents for as simple matter as ‘my roomate snoring….I can’t sleep…please take care’ 🙂 He supervises two students who are 100% dependednt on him and meet/call him every now and then for simple research matters. He take care of his younger sister’s most projects as she is struggling with her Bachelors!! He is taking care of his family who lives in BD.
And to my surprise, such energitic and hardworking geek also sings. He participate in most of the Bangladeshi cultural program nearby his place.
This is just a partial list of what he does. And I was really really impressed!! I just realized what a waste I am. If someone asks me to put an exact list of what exactly I do, I don’t think I have any good list to come up with 😦

So, when i was mesmerized by his energy, creativity and hardwork and quite lost with what exactly I am doing with my life and I met a summer intern at our work. She is done with her internship and leaving for her study to University of California Berkeley. I asked her about her thesis topic, and what she explained made me felt worst 😦

She has come up with a great and very impressive idea and working on that. And every body specially her Prof. is appriciating her for her very thoughtful and creative idea.
Now, I am impressed and amazed by all these great wonderful people around and feeling very guilty for not doing anyhting with this life 😦

Trust me, I am really really impressed and very much ashamed with myself 😦

Another Great & Inspiring Speech!!

Earlier I wrote a post about the most amazing, inspiring  speech I have heard by Steve Jobs in a Commencement Ceremony at Stanford University. That post can be found here.

There are few more I like to hear/read! Out of theme there is one speech which has a nice history. The speech was written by Mary Schmich. When she created the speech she described it as the commencement address she would give if she were asked to give one. Well, this particular speech named as ‘Wear Sunscreen‘ later become so popular that it was used by Kurt Vonnegut (as Mary never got the chance to give the speech) in a commencement speech at MIT.

And here is the speech collected from here:

“Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97.
Wear Sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idel Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year- olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone. Mayber you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody’s else’s.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Dont’ be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will Look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.”

Acknowledgement: Wikipedia, Robert (who collected the speech and made it available in his website).

I Want To..

At any given moment, most of us have a BIG ‘I want now’ list…Today while returning from work, I suddenly felt like jotting down my ‘want to’ list (for now)…however, this list is too big to cover here…..but here are just few

I want to: (right now)

1. Have Food made by my Mom(who’s back home in Bangladesh now 😦 )
2. Have a Car (no way, I can barely drive, spc. in NY/NJ)
3. Know how to Swim (don’t know, and am scared of water 😐 )
4. Meet my family (all are back home in BD 😦 )
5. Become Slim
6. Become the CEO of our company 😉
7. Meet Aishwariya & Will Smith 🙂
8. Go back to my childhood…spc the day my father was v happy with my good result after a long time when I was in Class VII!!  (Impossible wish)
9. Play in our village with childhood friends…
10. Become brilliant like Bill Gate/ Steve Jobs 😀
11. Write a book !!
and on and on……………….

Sine Curve Life!!

I am tired of this sine curve in my life…sometimes I am too happy, sometimes too sad 😦

I just want to settle down! Yesterday I was literally DEAD, I went home early and direcly went to bed, and felt the whole world is a mess and I have no one who loves me. And interestingly, nobody behaved bad, and nothing happen to create such a mess I did!! Rather my friends called, my hubby talked very lovingly, but I felt like I am the only loveless person living in this planet 😥

And today when I woke up, I felt – I am the happiest person on earth (again for no reason)….yesterday all I could think of are negative issues and today I can’t think of anythign but positive! This is a ridiculous sine curve I am in!!! BTW, those who are not aware of sine curve, its a geometrical thing, looks like a wave having a upper peak and a lower peak ( image added)!

So, my life can be represented by this curve, yesterday I was on the lower peak and today I am on the upper 😉 But this makes life unstable and harder. I have so many things to do which I am not able to organize 😦 Like today, I am very focused and working at certain things I have always planned for, but offcourse this requires me to stay tuned to finish it off, but what will happen is: tomorrow or may be day after tomorrow my dipression world will burst into me and I will lose the track!

God!! I really want to come out of this ridiculous thing…I am too old to be like this anymore 😛

Life @ New York!!

So here I am, living my life in New York for one year! Tomorrow will be my first annivarsary of living here!!! Geographically speaking, I live in Jersey City, NJ, very close to Manhattan  (15 minutes away from NY downtown). But other than sleeping and working, most of my time are spent in either Manhattan or Queens. So to sound nicer and feel better 😛 I say I live in New york!!! 

From God knows when I have always wanted to come to United States and particularly New York. It was my dream to live a part of my life here and experience the diversity, the charm, the excitement and the beauty. Speaking about diversity, one good example would be: If you ever visit Time Square and notice carefully you will be amazed to hear the diverse languages all are speaking around you from different countries around the world. Not to mention their colors, their clothes, their cultures. It is such an amazing mixture of diverse people one can experience here!!

NY has also attracted me for the number of events/activities happening every single day! You can be almost anyone you wnat to be here! You want to live alone…excluded from the crowd, be introvert, visit a library or some nice park….you want to be extrovert…join the crowd…find an event and just enjoy!! You want to be successful, you have thousands ideal successful people around  to follow…millions options everywhere…if you have nothign still you can end up getting some kind of small job and earn your livings!! You can GET anyhtign here in New York!! I may sound exaggerating, but that’s what i feel.

Offcourse sll these good things comes with the cost of expense….competettion for every single thing…Everythign in NY is more expensive compare to many other places. Every body is so smart that in every level of your study/work you have to be really good to compete, to survive. but thats what makes you smarter…better!!

The thing I love most about NY is the crowd which  many people hate!! I came from a small beautiful and extremely populated country Bangladesh, so whether I be in the crowd or not, I love seeing people around!! Pariticipate in all kind of activities, be a part of the crowd.  Many things I can’t do, but atleast i can see 🙂

This one year in NYC has been been an wonderful and amazing experience for me, I hope coming days are more challenging, more exciting, full of wonders and happiness!!!!

Just a Post!!

Just wanted to post something…anything !! Well, nothing is coming in my mind….the brain is completely blank and I can’t think of a single topic to write about…but I have thousands things in my mind which I want to talk about day and night and I could keep on writing on those topics on and on but for some reason when I really open the blog and about to start writing I see nothing but blank thoughts!!

Strange!! When I am in the subway…many interesting topics pop into my head and I immidiately decide to write few words on those and I forget…am I getting older?? Guess I am!!!

Like an old, tired lady I was reading some poems on life…here is one I would like to put in my blog:

A Poem on Life by Cory Calder:

Life is short, life is sour,
Slowly marching by the hour.
Life is fun, life is sweet,
Filled with dreams of no deceit.
Life is hard, life is gloom,
We fear our coming doom.
Life is family, life is friends,
We hope to never meet the ends.
Life is fear, life is greed,
Living under an evil creed.
Life is love, life is beauty,
Carefree of any duty.
Life is evil, life is lust,
We find it hard to give trust.
Life is hope, life is sharing,
Showing others were always caring.
Life is war, life is hate,
All destined for the same fate.
Life is good, and life is bad,
It always makes us happy and sad.

Flying Through The Cloud :)

My office is on 29th floor, and you can’t imagine the views that I have 🙂

Today its a very cloudy weather and windy.  I somehow manged to get into my office while wind was trying to fly me to the other side 😛 Well, when I get into my cubicle what I saw was spectecular!! The clouds are flying by my window. BTW, my cubic is just near the window so i gotta see all these mind blowing views. And you won’t believe how fast the clouds were passing through my window and I was feeling as if I am flying with them!

This was awesome!! I remeber long time back, I visited a hilly place called Ruma in Chittagong, Bangladesh. It was around 10 years back. My first ever journey by car to a hilly place. I remeber enjoying each and every momnet of it. As the car was climbing the hills, the higher we were the clouds were getting closer. That was the first time I saw clouds so close. I could not believe my eyes!! We stppoed our cars at some point and I could not believe that the cloud was passing through me (literally!!). This was one memorarble journey.

I know, sitting in a cubicle on 29th floor with bundles of work in your plate, the cloud is not as cherishable as it was back them. But atleast you get a glimse of relax and heavenly touch 🙂




Struggling for your goals …struggling with your limitation is extremely hard but not impossible. The most importatnt thing is FOCUS. The more focused you are the easier it is for you to struggle. One of the main reason we fail to fight till the end is we are not focused at our desitanaion, goal or whatever we want to achieve. This is my personal observation. There are other things that might seem important to others but I find “Focusing” to be most critical thing.

Till this date of my life, I have seen people overcoming many obstacles and on the other hand people who could not deal with small problems. And one of the most important thing those failures were missing was “Focusing”. They were never stable nor focused.

Again, being focused is another struggle that we deal with. Sometimes even if we have strong aims and particular goals we fail to stick to it, we loose our focus. To stick to what we want, to stay focused we need to fight with our limitations. Sometimes we fail to catch the reason behind our failures. And we give up. Another big element to keep struggling is ‘never giving up’ whatever the situation is…we should never give up!!

Offcourse we are human beings and offcourse we will loose our ways….we will definitely have millions limitation …thousands obstacles…but we should make sure that we tried….we tried our best…we struggle and struggle as much as we could…..we should never stopr trying unless we die……

“Woods are lovely dark and deep

I have promises to keep

And miles to go before I sleep”  – by Robert Frost

[All these are my personal believes and opnions]


Looks like being a regular blogger is very close to impossible for me 🙂 I have promised myself that I would write regularly yet I am not very frequent 😦

Well, better late than never!! So here I am !! What should I write about today? How about some personal stuffs?? Sounds interesting!!

These days I am trying to paint/draw. I have never done this before! May be its kinda too late to start this kind of things…but I believe there should not be any time constraint for things you are passionate about and you love to do..unless you have any physical constraints… I have started drawing like kids with a lot of excitement….everytime I draw something I look at it and burst into laugh…..even a 5 year kiddo will do better than that…but then again…who cares…its all about my passion…am not planning for any exhibition 😀

Thomas Kinkade Oil Painting

I have started with crayons. But mostly I want to do oil painting, I need time to reach that stage. Its too early for that. The painting I have put above is not mine 😛 its Thomas Kinkade‘s Painting.

Its really soothing doing the things you always wanted to do, you are always passionate about but never got a chance. We all have something we are passionate about but never got the chance either because of other priorities or some familial constraints. And when we have time and flexibility we think its too late to start over. I think we should always give ourself some time, we should look into ourselves when we have some relax moments in between our responsibilities and formalities. We should find some time for ourselves and do the things that we really enjoy doing. Be it spending and hour listening to your favorite music closing your eyes, or joining yoga class which you never could manage to do.

I always feel, this is one life I am living and I should try my best to live it. Like Bon Jovi sang

” It’s my life
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive”.

We all should some how manage some time just for ourselves and do something we like. That way we can stay more refreshing and will be able to manage this life more properly.

So believing in these I have become a kiddo now and drawing abstract things 🙂 – this is something new happening in my life 🙂