I found some wonderful funny answering machine messages here.
Following are few I really liked:
1. Hi, we aren’t in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you’ve finished.
2. Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you
The roses have wilted, the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl’s empty, and so is your head
The roses stink, sorta like sheep
But leave your name, number, and message after the beep
The roses are molding, the violets are rotten
And I might call you back, if I haven’t forgotten
3. These words are lovely dark and deep
But I’ve got promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep
So leave a message at the beep.
4. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So leave a message.
5. We’re not in cause we’re out LOOTING! Leave a message and we’ll call you back and tell you what we got.
6. We’re sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.